Eating my words...

Here I am, admitting it...gulp...my parents weren't wrong after all. Growing up, I thought their only mission in life was to make my life as annoying as possible. Before I continue, most of you know my parents and know how awesome they are, so needless to say, I was not brought up in a bad home. But, at that age (meaning my entire pre-teen and teen years), slamming my door, stomping off, talking back, rolling my eyes, not cleaning my room, forgetting to say "sir" or "mam," and all of the other countless rules I broke were of no concern to me. I truly thought they just had nothing better to do than to ground me, take away my stuff, "talk" to me, and in general do things to make me want to pull my hair out. They didn't know what it was like to be my age. They couldn't relate to me. And they were crazy if I was ever going to accept the "one day you will thank me for this" mentality I was forced to live under.

I say sir, mam, please, thank you, excuse me, and bless you without a second thought. I hold doors open for people behind me. I think twice before I say something that could potentially hurt another. I say my prayers. I have discipline. I find myself saying things to a 19 month old that I remember being told at 5. I hear their words and their guidance in my head 24/7. I've had many "oh my goodness, I'm my mom" moments and am definitely my father's daughter. Now, there are just some things that no amount of rearing or discipline can fix and in my case that is procrastination and road rage. Sorry, parental units, I just think I'm a lost cause in that department. But, I just want you to know that what you said has stuck with me. Granted, it's taken nearly 30 years for me to acknowledge it, but nevertheless, I am. And I thank you SO MUCH for everything you did for me, to me, and with me.

Blending families is tough. We all come from different backgrounds, upbringings, and have different styles of parenting. So without blending anything, it can be tough from the start. Things that are just unacceptable to me, I am finding that I have to take time to understand the function behind the behavior. (Yes, I realize I am talking like a SPED teacher, but that's the only way I can explain it.) I had stability. I had consistency. I had a stern hand and strict directions. All of those things I want to continue with my son. Knowing what I went through and how I felt when I was younger, I know that he will "hate" me one day and think I am "ruining his life" by making him live by my rules, but one day, just like I have, he will see that everything a parent does...well, everything a parent should do...is for the betterment of their child. To provide them with the manners, tools, and foundation they will need to succeed later.

Now, I'm in no way saying that I haven't screwed up, made some WRONG decisions, or otherwise acted like a complete jackass at times, but looking back, had I listened to my parents...well, you know where that sentence is headed. Neither one of them would ever say "I told you so" to me because there is no merit in that. There is no satisfaction in that. Unless you got something positive out of another's misfortune, "I told you so" holds no bearing. I learned that to get respect, you must give it AND earn it. I learned that if you break trust, you must put in the work to rebuild it. I learned to be honest. I learned to accept defeat gracefully. I learned to be a humble winner. I learned that my parents weren't the bad guys. They were the ones who were always on my side and continue to be to this day.

As I grow older, and especially as I raise Jaxon, I see more and more how much I appreciate and value the lessons, ethics, and lifestyle my parents instilled in me. I am grateful for it. My dad once told me something his grandfather told him..."If you listened to everything I told you and learned from my mistakes, you'd be the smartest, wealthiest person alive. But, you're not going to, so go on an make your mistakes." Mistakes are how we learn. Mistakes open our eyes. And if we are smart enough, mistakes put us back on the right path.

So, this one's for you Mom and Dad, yall did a pretty good job. Sorry for being such a brat for the past...oh, I don't know...29 years :o)