My Korean Chronicles

How can you sum up a trip like mine in a single post? Well, I’m not really sure but I’m quite certain it will be random and full of useless information that may bore you or be the length of a post causing feelings of anger simply because it seems to never end. I will try to find a happy medium, but I can’t promise that. My Korean adventure was special because it gave me 6 amazing weeks with the love of my life. Six weeks that I didn’t expect. Six weeks that made my heart not hurt so much. Ok, so the pain is already setting back in and I still haven’t touched down in Detroit, but I didn’t expect anything different. As I start this post, I am currently over the Pacific, creeping up to the West Coast. The amount that I get typed now depends on just how long my little battery life can make it. I left Korea before 6 p.m. The sky was pitch black in no time after take-off. I pass out like a log (thank you Captain Morgan) and wake up to blinding light sneaking through the crack in my window screen. This whole time thing is so weird. Technically speaking, I am traveling back in time right now. Eff you, Marty McFly. Okay, so I can thank Captain Morgan for that statement too but whatever.

Tired of reading yet? No, you say? Well, sitting down sweet peeps, you are about the dive into the randomness of Ali’s Korean Chronicles. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll always wonder if you can get the time back you wasted reading this post. Nope. So, quit bitching.

I am SHHHH-ELLLL-TERED like a mother fluffer. The culture shock literally shocked me every day. It hurt sometimes, others were the good kind of pain. My thoughts and impressions of South Korea:

It stinks. They have an open sewage system which means at any given moment you can be walking along, enjoying your day, and get a big waft of shit smell right smack in the face. Ick. I did a lot of mouth breathing to try to block the smell.

SO MANY PEOPLE. I never saw a single neighborhood. Neighborhood to me is a development of homes with yards, mailboxes, driveways, etc. Nope, their neighborhoods consist of a cluster of roughly 8-10 HIGH rise apartment buildings. By high rise, I mean some of these suckers have like 50 floors. There are so many of these apartment complexes.

American stereotype: Asians can’t drive. Reality: They drive exactly like they do in the native country. Holy shit balls. Red lights are merely suggestions. They use their horns. A lot. No need to look before you merge, just go. And go fast. Watch out for Bongo trucks and idiots on scooters. I spent more time in the car going “Oh!” “Agh!” and “Shit!”

Are those really kids walking around the city by themselves? Like elementary schools kids jumping on a transit bus and riding the train? Yes, yes they were. South Korea simply does not have a huge crime problem. Get this: people actually DON’T want to go to jail there so they don’t commit crimes! Wow! I really think more damage and crimes are committed by US soldiers stationed there then natives.

They LOVE them some coffee and pastries. And by love, I mean have cafes, stores, and bakeries roughly every 10-20 yards. Coffee there tastes different than coffee at home. But, lucky me, the Commissary always stocks the good stuff that I brewed in the apartment. My favorite sweet treats were cinnamon rolls and things chocolate cookies that came in adorable pink boxes. Oh I wish I could order those online lol. Do we have Korean markets in Georgia? I would think we would. I just need those cookies. Anyone remember Elkins from back in the day? Yeah, tastes just like that. Yummm.

To keep on the subject of food. Big shocker…there wasn’t much I liked. Mostly because I am not an adventurous eater and won’t try anything (much to the hubs dismay). My favorite non-commissary or PX purchased food was anything with tempura in front of it. It is a fancy style of frying anything lol. Chicken, pork, shrimp. Whatever! I had a really cool omelet (which I’m not fond of in the first place) that was filled with rice. It came with a tempura pork cutlet…and this was what I got at a WATER PARK! On a glass plate with real silverware. Blew me away but definitely proved the point that they are serious about conservation and recycling. Jamie had to coach me though, “Just think of it as fried rice, except the egg is on the outside! Good point. It worked. I ate it. My mother would LOVE to visit. She would appreciate the food. Sushi, soups, hibachi buffets, nasty teas, weird things wrapped in noodles. Let’s just say I cried when I saw McDonald’s lol.

Juicy girls and ‘Villes. These two words are probably the cause of most problems for soldiers stationed in Korea. Each post has a Ville just outside the gates. These little gems thrive on soldiers and their money. You won’t find strip clubs there…just a lot of hookers. Juicy girls (not hard to spot AT ALL) wear outfits that I’m certain could be make from 3-4 shoelaces and are always friendly and ready to snatch a soldier. All I can say is that I hope the Army makes those guys have STD tests about once a month. Ick. The Villes are packed with clubs and DEEE-RUNK soldiers.

The above leads to my next observation. We’ve all heard “Korea stories” and what happens there. Drinking happens there. A lot of it. Guys get a little too loaded and break curfew. BIG no-no. Everyone wants to drink – it’s what the Army does – so then you have all the yahoo underage idiots get in trouble for that. Cause for a majority of Article 15’s: underage drinking and breaking curfew. You do not want to do either, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be caught roaming around drunk in town after 1 a.m. Well, they couldn’t do anything to me, I’m not a soldier. But, Jamie was responsible for me and I would never do anything to make him look bad.

***Battery dying. More to come during my layover in Detroit. SOOOO wish I had time to see my other Mama and angry (sweet) German father-in-law. Just passed over Seattle. Four hours left on this leg. Be back then.***

**Got about 45 minutes to spare in Detroit. This post may take me a couple days to finish lol**

Sitting in this airport just reminded me of another point of interest. Wi-fi. We have it in various places. Some people pay for their own mobile hot spot. If you can’t catch a network, well then that’s when you rack up those beautiful data charges. Not in Korea. Holy cow the technology is amazing and slightly interesting. Amazing because everywhere has internet. Everywhere. Subways, sidewalks, every restaurant and store you go into. Seriously. Everywhere. What makes it better are the phones people walk around with. Some have your standard iPhone or Droid looking thing, but most of the younger crowd walk around with what I can only relate to using your iPAD as a phone. Yes, iPad. Kindle. Tablet. As a phone. They jazz them up with teddy bear or bunny rabbit cases with big ears. I tried to get Jamie to get one. He wouldn’t.

Shopping. What in theeeeeeeeeeeeeee hell do South Koreans do in order to shop so much?! And I don’t mean shopping at Wal-Mart or Target. We are talking Gucci, Prada, Louis, High end EVERYTHING. And most of the shoppers are ROK soldiers! Seriously, uniforms everywhere…just shopping and drinking coffee lol.

Signal Ball. Loved it! Felt so fancy and the hubs didn’t look too shabby either. It was nice to share that “first” together. He took me to get my hair done (which I’m sure pleased my mother a great deal since I couldn’t end up with a big knotted ball on my head) and made me feel like a princess.        

Friends. I made some new ones! Calm down, I get a little excited too. It was really cool and nothing felt forced. Of course I have my military friends/spouses at home that I adore and wouldn’t trade for anything, but after my first “Army Wife” encounter when I first met Jamie…let’s just say it’s a shocker I associate with anyone at all. But, my stateside girls proved to me that not all are lying psychos and these crazy ass soldiers that I met in Korea just make my heart happy. I did learn a lot. Just trying to figure out how to create my own personal style of going ethnic on someone while wearing my pearls :)

And yeah, I'm tapping out. More to come later. Almost to Atlanta!!